Internet, Facebook, Cats & Hot Babes

Mwa internet, mwa!
Mwa internet, mwa!

People love the internet. More than almost anything we love the internet. All our favorite websites, apps and services depend on it, so increasingly it’s where our attention is migrating to. And where our attention goes, our dollar goes. Away from print magazines and newspapers, away from traditional broadcast TV, away even from giving undivided attention to our loved ones.

Internet Addiction Disorder…it’s a real thing!

Teens and 20 something year olds in the UK are now spending almost 30 hours a week online. THIRTY HOURS!! And you can bet they’d do the same in Zimbabwe if they could afford it. Fact is, Internet access in Zimbabwe is still too pricey for some.


Here look at this cute kitten.

I'm so cute!
I’m so cute!

There are roughly 600 million cats in the world. Now be honest, which of these two situations is more likely to completely wreak the planet

  • Every cat on planet earth has died a sudden and horrible death!
  • All internet, everywhere, Will Be Down For One Full Year!

Sure, if all the cats in the world suddenly died, it would have some tough emotional and ecological effects – oh and some men might become less attractive to females.

BUT the internet shutting down?

That’s worse. Millions of jobs and businesses would be lost, Billions of dollars would go up in smoke…chaos would follow. Psychos, running around everywhere…doing psycho stuff. That, plus Facebook and Instagram would be down.

What could be worse than that?

Here take a look at this chart, the result of a sophisticated and highly scientific form of guestimation on the greatest possible pain a human being can endure.


Is it accurate? Close enough for me!

Fact is though, everyone’s attention is going digital – on screens of every shape and size, and the back bone of it all, is the internet. And do you know what the vast majority of people who really spend time online are doing?

Social Media…especially Facebook.

Now, where are the smartest marketers and businesses spending their time? The same place the market is spending its time right?


This year, Facebook has arrived at 1.5 BILLION active users. And 65% of those are daily users. That’s about 400 million more people than live on the whole continent of Africa!

Let thank sink in for a sec.

1.5 billion active users on a single platform that allows advertising? It’s almost too good to be true for your company, right? Any market, any niche…they’re active on Facebook. I mean the only way to find a niche that’s not on Facebook is to actually specifically target the poorest and most technologically unsophisticated people on earth. The most rural and remote citizens of Earth – but Facebook has plans for them too

With such ready access to your market, your Facebook marketing should be easy right?

Yes, except for one thing…

No one is logging on to Facebook to see your ads (shocking right?). Companies have a hard time grasping this, so I created yet another handy chart to help you understand.

Why people use Facebook
Why people use Facebook

Reasons why people get on Facebook

So you see, even though your target market is almost certainly on Facebook (contrary to what most old school folk think), they’re not on there looking for your boring ads.

Not unless you’re creating awesome content. But you’re not doing that are you? No, Mr Big Company, Mr marketing manager, Mr Entrepreneur, you’re too busy being boring or “professional” or just not very helpful.

Too bad.

The internet and the things enabling it (mobile) and social media represent the greatest cultural and marketing shift since the printing press. And it’s only just getting started.

Many businesses, will gain and lose relevance based almost entirely on how well they understand and adapt to these changes.

Consider this;

“Uber, the world’s largest taxi company, owns no vehicles. Facebook, the world’s most popular media owner, creates no content. Alibaba, the most valuable retailer, has no inventory. And Airbnb, the world’s largest accommodation provider, owns no real estate. Something interesting is happening.”

I hope it’s not happening without you.

But wait, you have a Facebook page, you’re trying. It just isn’t working. You post, no one responds, you advertise your services, no one inquires. What are you doing wrong?

Probably lots.

Fortunately though, there aren’t that many things you need to get right to make good use of Facebook. That’s not to say it’ll be easy, but it can be done. And after thousands of hours and dollars invested, I’ve learned a good many things about the process. I’ll be blogging more about those, but a good place to start would be to get it into your skull that people don’t log in to Facebook to be advertised to.

Here, compare these two results, Hot Babe VS Telecel.

I'm Hot, look at me!

See that interaction? Likes, comments all over the place. She did that with no marketing budget, no professional designer. Now look at this post by a huge company that has invested millions dollars into its marketing…

telecel facebook post


Hot babe: 190 likes

Telecel: 1 like.

There are a number of reasons for this, and Telecel is by no means uniquely bad…no, those results are actually quite common…(well, maybe not as bad as one like. I MEAN ONE LIKE?!)

For one thing, Facebook is biased toward individual users, not companies. Not much you can do about that except maybe create a personal profile for your company and milk it until Facebook discovers it and deletes your account.

The other reason is that Telecel, and you, just aren’t posting stuff that people care about. Your content is boring. Advert after advert. Boring post after boring post.

It’s time to get Awesome or go home.

So now in this brave new world called social media, interruption marketing isn’t going to work for you. You’re going to have to create content people actually want to see, and engage them in ways they actually want to be engaged. The time is now.



2 Replies to “Internet, Facebook, Cats & Hot Babes”

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